THE KRIEGIE PIE HORROR SHOW
by Total Derpy Fan
Summary: (Not really a horror fic) Krieg our lovable psychopath, turns up in Equestria. Not knowing whether he's officially lost it or not, decides to... make cake? Rated T for EXCESSIVE CAPS, Krieg, Pinkie Pie, Cake, Explosions, The yelling game, and a few other things.


**Hola compadres of ! Wooh! Yeah that was over dramatic right? ._. Sad face. Oh well w/e. Anywho~ This is my very first try at a one-shot/crossover with everybodie's favorite psycho. Today we will add Krieg and Geirk into a vast world of utter chaos. *Background chatter* DAMNIT BOB! NO IT AIN'T MINECRAFT! We are doing a crossover with... *Pause for dramatic effect*... MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC! This is totally going to work :D. Alright now for one of those totally cliché "add the author dialogue disclaimor" things.**

**Me: Woah o-O how'd I get here?**

**Geirk: Easy, you decided t...**

**Krieg: INTERUPTING COW!**

**Me: The hells going on?! Somepony help me! Dx**

**Pinkie Pie: Heres a rainbow colored cupcake! ^^**

**Me: GAHH! **

**Geirk: T_T ok... W/e, TDF doesn't own MLP:FIM, or Borderlands, he does however own me, how this plans out, and something else... forgot what it was eh probably not important.**

**Pinkie Pie: Sad Dashie isn't here.**

**Me: Oh dear Celestia, I'm going to be sick *Runs to a bathroom***

**Geirk: No pairings, just utter insanity.**

**-THIS IS A LINE-**

Fluttershy was prodding at the creature standing in her cottage, completely oblivious to the world around her. Currently the beast was twitching, wanting to hurt the... nice... blubbery meat flesh, but seeing as Geirk was in control of his body. Didn't seem likely.

"What kind of critter are you?" The mare asked in awe, Geirk just stood still, not answering.

Fluttershy stared at it, perhaps it was hurt? She gently moved her hoof up to Geirk's head and turned it so the left side was facing her, which in turn caused hyperventilation. On the creature's skull sat the most gruesome open wound Fluttershy would ever see.

"Oh no! You need medical help. Luckily 'Nurse' Fluttershy is on the case." She said earning a confused glance from said critter. She then turned and flew up to the nearest cabinet, pulling out what seemed to be a medical kit.

_'Not now, please not now!'_ Geirk thought, as he felt Krieg gaining control.

Just as Fluttershy turned around, she noticed the creature was no longer in her kitchen. A 'CRASH!' came from upstairs, from her room. Taking flight once more Fluttershy flew out of her kitchen and up the staircase, hoping the creature didn't hurt himself more than he already had. She had reached her door and tried to open it, 'click'. The door... opened **(Thought I locked it? WRONG!)**.

Fluttershy stared at the room, or what was left of it, in shock. "W-what happened to my room!" She screamed, noticing the bed was ripped in two and the wall by the window was missing.

The wall wasn't the only thing missing, so was the creature who did this.

**-Meanwhile with Krieg/Geirk-**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Was what Krieg heard when he was close to the nearby town he spotted.

_"Hospitality, kindness, and you just trash her house like that? You idiot!"_ Geirk yelled from the inside of Krieg's head. Krieg grunted in response.

"BASEBALL MACHETE!" Krieg screamed, puzzling nearby ponies who couldn't see him. The man-beast saw the town coming in the distance, he was sprinted not caring he was winded.

_"Moron..."_

**-Back with Fluttershy (No longer in the cottage)-**

The yellow mare was flying as fast as she could to Twilight's tree-house **(2 mph wooh! Just kidding.)**.As she was nearing her friend's residence, Fluttershy heard somepony yell out the oddest of things. "BASEBALL MACHETE!" Shaking her head, she continued onward to her friend.

Reaching the door, she knocked hoping for an answer, which she soon got as Spike opened the door. "Oh hey Flut-" "Move I need to see Twilight!" She yelled pushing Spike out of her way. "Ok! Ok! Sheesh, you don't have to push me." The super short dragon muttered.

Twilight Sparkle, on of Fluttershy's dearest friends, was currently reading a book trying to drown out the world around her. She never stood a chance against Fluttershy however. "Twilight!"

"Ahh!" She screamed and dropped her book, totally lost her place.

"Fluttershy! What happened? Is Cerberus loose again?" Twilight asked, concern laced in her voice.

"No! Worse! Theres a critter that is hurt very badly, and I need to find it so I can help!" Fluttershy said close to tears **(Really? You don't care about your room?)**.

"I have to find him, oh! I just have to!" She said once more.

Twilight stared blankly at her friend. "If it's one of your critters would it just return to you after a while?" She asked.

"B-but it's not one o-" "I'll see you tomorrow Fluttershy" Twilight interupted, using her magical horn of magicalness to gently push her friend out of the house.

Fluttershy stared at the door as it closed infront of her. _'Oh well, I'll try Applejack.'_ She thought. Maybe the element of Honesty could help her.

**-Krieg time baby-**

_'I think we've finally lost it...'_ Geirk thought as he saw through Krieg's eyes. The sight they were looking at wasn't pretty... Well it was pretty, just not logical. In front of the one bodied duo stood a town, overun with ponies of multiple colors. While the houses were made with what seemed like a type of candy **(Just a guess, seeing as how they're all prettyful 'n stuff)**.

The two never noticed the pink ninja following them the moment they entered the town. With cat-like reflexes, which made no sense seeing as how she was a pony, she brought out a pink cannon seemingly out of nowhere.

3

2

1

"SURPRISE!" The pink mare yelled, as she pulled the rope, firing pounds of confetti on the new comer.

Blinking, Krieg turned around and stared in shock as the pink pony was loading her cannon again. She never fired. Just as it came from nowhere, it dissapeared. Thats when the nightmare began. "HiyoumustbenewherebecauseIknoweveryponyhereandI'v enevermetyoubeforesoyoumustbeandthatmustmeanyouhav enofriendsbutthatsokbecausewearefriendsnow." The mare said all in one breath.

Krieg, to slow to process this, let Geirk do the thinking. "I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, my friends call me Pinkie Pie. Hi I'm Pinkie Pie whats your name?" The little creature wouldn't shut up. So, Krieg just might as well answer her.

"KRIEG!" He screamed.

"Ooh, a yelling game, ok! PINKIE PIE!" She retaliated.

"KRIEG!"

"PINKIE PIE!"

"KRIEG!" 

"KRIEG!"

"PINKIE PI... I"M CONFUSED!" Krieg finished. Obviously losing that match.

_"This pony scares me."_ Was litterally all Geirk had to say, probably in a corner in Krieg's head rocking back and forth.

"Wanna bake cake with me?" What? Just what? Did this pony have ADD or something?

"THE CAKE IS A LIE!" Krieg shouted, was that a yes or no? I couldn't tell, might as well make it a yes.

**-Meanwhile, in Portal-**

The cake on the table, near shelves and shelves of random shit, just exploded.

**-Back with Kriegie Pie 20 Minutes Later-**

Krieg, with a baker's hat and apron, gently put the cake in the oven **(How he is so calm is beyond me)**. "Yay! This is going to be awesome!" Pinkie said, earning a glance from Krieg. "This is probably going to be the best cake EVER!" Her eyes growing dialated as if shes on cocaine.

"THE SUGARY TASTE OF DEATH IS IN MY STOMACH!" Krieg yelled after closing the oven door.

**-Finally with Fluttershy again-**

None. Not a single friend of hers would help her track down this injured creature. She asked all of her friends, Applejack turned her down because she was bucking apples. RD was sleeping. Rarity simply wouldn't help an unsanitary being. _'Sigh, looks like I'm going to have to find him on my own.'_ She thought **(Seriously you never bothered to ask Pinkie?)**.

"Huh?! Who said that?!" Fluttershy asked looking around **(...)**. "I-I'll just ask Pinkie." She said to herself, still looking around. She started hoofing it to Sugar Cube Corner, past Twilight's house, Rarity's Beautique. All in all, about a 20 minute walk.

**-With Kriegie Pie, 5 Minutes before Fluttershy arrives-**

Pinkie Pie, with oven mitts of steel, gently pulled out the somehow perfect cake, looking over her shoulder she noticed Krieg was dancing and screaming something about dancing in the falling limbs of the living.

"Cakes done, yay!" She said giving a two eyed version of Kakashi's famous upside down U eye smile. _'Who the hecks Kakashi?"_ Pinkie wondered_ 'Oh well, back to the cake.'_ She thought as she put the cake on a cake platter plate thing.

"Time to let the cake cool a bit."

**-5 Minutes later (Cakes cooled, Not realistic I know, but this is MLP screw logic)-**

The time passed pretty quickly due to the two having the yelling game again.

"I WANT TO PUT ON THE FROSTING!" Krieg yelled.

"NO I WANT TO!" Pinkie yelled back.

"ME!"

"NO ME!

"ME!"

"YOU!"

"NO YOU!"

"Ok!" I imagined a troll face on Pinkie whenever she did this. Somehow, it all makes sense.

Pinkie Pie grabbed the frosting and was totally about to apply it when Fluttershy burst through the door. "Pinkie! Oh Pinkie it's terrible I need help find..." She lowered her voice to a silent 'pop' as she noticed the creature she spent all afternoon looking for was inside with a baker's uniform. A legit reason to freak out right?

"Wha? But he... I lost... Wha? Ahhh..." 'Faint'. Yup, she just totally fainted.

Pinkie and Krieg just stared at her before they shrugged and went back to putting the frosting on.

Hey atleast the cakes done right?

**-THIS IS A LINE!-**

**Me running back from the bathroom: So what'd I miss?**

**Geirk: What? The fact I was barely in this? Or th...**

**Krieg: MY LITTLE PONY!**

**Me: Oh, makes sense I guess. Did Pinkie Pie leave finally?**

**Pinkie Pie: Here have a rainbow colored cupcake ^^**

**Me: Oh not aga... *Cupcake gets shoved in mouth* AGHH!**

**Rainbow Dash: Sorry, I'm late Pinkie, I got held up in the ponified version of traffic.**

**Pinkie Pie: Oh that's ok Dashie, you just missed the story thats all.**

**RD: Alright, R&R Folks. So, Pinkie you wanted me to help you bake cupcakes?**

**Me: Uh... I'm out see ya!**

**Geirk/Krieg: US TOO!**

**So, what'd you guys think of this? Like it hate it? Want me to make more one-shots featuring Krieg? R&R! Anywho~ I forgot something still don't remember what it was though. OH YEAH! The Omake.**

**Cupcakomake Part 1**

**Axton wandered into SCS because he had nothing better to do, Maya was doing something with Krieg, Gaige left towards Canterlot, Zer0... just poofed and Salvador, just plain no. So Axton decided he'd buy some sweets from SCS cause he can.**

**"Hey anyone here?" He asked noticing no one was around. "Eh, guess I'll just help my self then." He finished, and walked behind the counter. 'Klink' 'klink' 'klink'. Axton heard metal hitting metal coming from the basement door, being the leader that he is, he decided to investigate. **

**Slowly opening the door, Axton began his journey down into the dark abyss. he heard two voices. "W-why are you doing this Pinkie? I thought we were friends." And "We are friends silly, I just need more of the special ingrediant for my cupcakes." And with that, Axton took his leave.**

**The End?**

**Stay tuned for one of my other one-shots to find out the ending :3**

**Tata~**


End file.
